DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE?

"I don't think I want to be her boy toy!"

These are the words of a man who is recently divorced, late-40's, re-entering the dating world after over 20 years of marriage, and discovering that there are women out there who just want his body, not his heart...

Wow! What a switch! This guy was thinking he'd enjoy the "chase" and have lots of fun having lots of fun... What he began to discover was that he was meeting one woman after another who was simply hungry for some good sex and not particularly interested in a "relationship".

What's with that?

When we women have been known to be hungry for a relationship, our complaints have often been that "he just wants me for sex and I want more!"

Are the tables turning?

Are women now hungry for the body parts and not the soul connection?

Are men now hungry for the soul connection and not the body parts?

Well...as you know from reading my blog posts, part of my most recent complaint with the man I thought was my lover was that he wasn't giving me his heart, just his body. I wanted his heart. As much as I was loving the sexual connection, what I discovered about myself was that having a sexual relationship without the soul connection just was not satisfying to me.

I'd love to hear from you!

What do you want and need from a partner, these days?

Are you looking for a relationship?

Or...is a relationship something that, for you, is just too much work, and you'd rather have some good sex that is not complicated by an emotional relationship?

When we have what we sense is some kind of "soul connection" with someone we also have an "attraction" for...what do we do with that? Is it our imagination? Is it wishful thinking?

At what point can you and I trust our intuitive sensitivities, and acknowledge that there either is or is not a soul connection?

When I first met "Mr. Wonderful", when he walked up to me to kiss me, there was this electric energy, this mysterious connection, which I wanted to believe was some kind of "soul connection". When his body was touching mine, when his hands were exploring my body, when I was touching him in all those places specifically reserved for intimates, I wanted -- so wanted -- to believe that this was a soul connection.

I was speaking with a client a few days ago who had a long affair with a younger man; she expressed feeling like a teenager again and that she felt this wondrous "soul connection" with this man. He has since decided to suspend the sexual contact, but still wants the "soul connection" and for that, she is sad and even angry. She wants his body parts. He wants the soul connection. She needs the physical intimacy to experience the soul connection fully. He is resisting the physical contact in order to prolong what, for him, is the "soul connection".

Strange? Confusing?

Talk to me...

Blessings
Sheila