Choosing Differently

I'm not sure who said it, but I've heard this wisdom in many different forms: “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life.
But we can decide what happens in us – how we can take it, what we do with it
– and that is what really county in the end.” - Joseph Fort Newton

SOOO...What is YOUR next move...today? HOW do you choose?

The great benefit of heightened awareness is that you and I have more choice in how we live our lives. At any moment, we can purposefully choose a new experience for ourselves. You and I can choose to pay attention, breathe more deeply, laugh, rest, play, appreciate, do something different. The possibilities are indeed infinite.

There is this special man I thought I had let go. Well...I did. Totally. I had made my peace with my choice. I sent him my blessings and my love. I had chosen to love myself and to seek a life partner with whom I could share love openly and freely. I had envisioned being with a man who saw me as his Queen and wanted to put my needs before his. In the "trade", it has always been my greatest pleasure and delight to love my partner unconditionally, putting his needs before mine. Now don't misunderstand: I'm not talking about accepting abuse and putting my own needs on the back burner.

No No No!!!

I'm talking about having a relationship in which there is that total trust and reciprocity in which you know that your partner has your back. Your partner knows that you have his back, also. It is the kind of trust that says, "close your eyes and fall backwards...I will be there to catch you" In this kind of reciprocity and trusting loving relationship, a true WIN-WIN is accomplished: "I give myself to you and give you what you need and want; you give yourself to me and you give me what I need and want."

It's the paradigm that is akin to that famous story of heaven and hell:

In Hell...you walk into a large dining room where there is lavish food and drink; however, everyone in the room has one arm strapped behind them and the other arm cannot bend, and can only stretch out straight in front, and although it can hold a fork or spoon, it cannot bend to feed itself. In that room, each person is acting as if no-one else is there.

In Heaven...you walk into a similar large dining room where there is lavish food and drink; everyone in the room has the same arm strapped behind them and the opposing arm cannot bend, only able to stretch out straight in front. However, in this room, the people realized that that they could feed one another. And they did.

During the past few weeks, since I had let my special man go, he has expressed a desire to make things work; he has been persistent in reaching some reconciliation. I haven't repeated my complaints. I've continued to send him the energy and intention of love, without feeling the need to rush back into the arms of this relationship. I've let him know that I do miss him. However, I do sense that something is missing. I've let him know that I am considering inviting him back into my life, and I am in the process of listening to my body (which knows everything) for my answer. I have let him know that I need time to listen.

In the meantime, he has apparently been doing some reflecting in new ways. Has has apparently been listening to me differently; likewise, I have been consulting with myself in a different way this time around.

Yesterday, he expressed himself in a different way entirely. There is a flavor and intention of commitment which has never been there in quite the same way. There is a tenderness and feeling of soul connection which is new. As I stepped away from complaints and into a free and open space of possibilities, perhaps I created a space for him to consider the situation in a different way. No longer was he being pressured by me to change. He was allowing himself to be inspired to grow and stretch.

What happens next? I have invited him back for a visit soon. We shall see...

Whenever you and I remember to take ourselves off “auto-pilot” and really examine our situation, we experience what it means to empower our choices. Once I have made a specific choice, at the end of the day, I can step back and reflect on what happened and how I felt when I chose a new line of thought, feeling, or action.

“When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things: define the moment, or let the moment define you.” – Tin Cup (the movie)

Who says I'm a Goddess?!?!

What is this dance I'm doing? One moment, I'm spiritually awake, aware, savvy, connected with my Higher Self, and the next moment, I'm an addict! Addicted to a sexual relationship that doesn't feed my soul; addicted to too much caffeine and chocolate; addicted to shopping for books on Amazon.com; addicted to working long hours...it's a long list, but you get the point.

Some of my girlfriends and women clients are having the same kind of conversation with me: these are women who are savvy, powerful, successful, sexy, spiritually aware, and profess to want to continue to grow into raised and evolved consciousness. These are women who are having relationships with men in which they are asking the question: "who says I'm a Goddess?!?"

When we Goddesses are accepting less than we know we want, desire, deserve and can have, we are giving the universe the message that its okay, we don't have to have anything more, it'll do, it's enough for now, it's better than nothing, and well, maybe this is all there is!

When we Goddesses are having sex with married men, having sex with men who want more from us than they are willing to give us, having sex with men who are either emotionally unavailable or geographically unavailable, having sex with men who give us the crumbs and some other woman gets the whole loaf of bread...are we giving away our power?

I'm a Goddess when I choose at each moment of my days and nights to step up to my own plate; when I acknowledge my self-defeating addiction and choose to be alone rather than accept less than I know I deserve; when I say to that man who is attempting to seduce me once again with his "I miss you Babe" or "I can't live without you darling!" or "you're the ONLY ONE for me!" that I love him and bless him but am letting him go...so that I can clear the space for "Mr. Right" to find me!

Being a Goddess is not something I achieve, as if I've arrived at some destination. Being a Goddess is something I create each step along my journey as a woman: with each choice I make, I am choosing to be a Goddess or a mere mortal woman. When I choose to be a Goddess, I am acknowledging that there is a distinction between my little egoic self (as Eckhart Tolle would call it) and my big expansive Higher Self (as Neale Donald Walsch would call it).

This first blog entry is the beginning a journey I want to take with you. We will share our journey with one another; we will engage in conversations about the dance we each do each day, as we choose to be a Goddess and in our Power, or go into our little egoic default mode of giving up, giving in, accepting less, doing less, living small and throwing away our dreams and goals.

Are you with me?