TOUCH MY SOUL...TAKE MY BODY!

I'M WILLING TO FEEL THE FEAR...

I'M WILLING TO LET MYSELF CRY...

I'M WILLING TO HOLD MYSELF OPEN FOR ALL POSSIBILITIES, IN THE FACE OF BEING FRUSTRATED THAT THE MAN WITH WHOM I SEEK TO SHARE LIFE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HERE IN FRONT OF MY FACE...YET

At the age of 68, I am seeking a soul mate, a life partner, a loving companion with whom to share myself and my life.

Despite not having direct evidence right in front of my face, I have a perfect faith that THIS MAN whom I seek is also seeking me, that he is not far away, and that he will find me. When he does, I have a perfect faith that our connection will be sweet and loving; that we will feel as if we have "come home" with one another. When he does, we will each want to be with one another and find a way to do so.

How do I absolutely know this? Because I just experienced the opposite. I know that when I am very clear about who I really am, about what I am really about in this lifetime, the opposite will show up to give me more clarity, more definition, and more resolve.

Last night, I had a date. His name is Joel. He is an accomplished professional, wealthy, and well-established. If I was looking for a man to give me financial stabilty, he might be someone for me to seriously consider as a contender as my partner.

There is that HOWEVER: Joel is seeking a woman who can be his companion and his lover; however, I see no evidence that he either seeks nor is capable of a deep soul connection.

The evening felt very long. When true lovers meet and there is a soul connection, there is no sense of time and whatever time lovers have together is never enough, because we always have a longing to taste one another as we bask in that "being at home" energy of connection. However, three hours with Joel felt like three weeks... I didn't experience being seen or heard, I didn't experience any glimmer of curiosity about who I am or what I do or what I am about, and I didn't experience that Joel had a clue about the magnitude of woman who was in his midst.

We women who have accessed out Goddess selves understand, without conceit or arrogance, that we are gorgeous and magnificent manifestations of divinity at its best. We get it that we possess the softness and sweetness that only Goddess Women can be, in the midst of our strength and power. We are fully aware that some very fortunate man could be the adoring recipient of our grace and passion, if only he were able to open his eyes and see us and open his heart and hear us.

In letting go of the man who had been my lover, what I was really letting go of was the limitations that the relationship imposed on both of us: he was not fully able or willing to receive all of my loving passion; therefore, I was not free to fully give or be who I am. In letting him go, I was liberating both of us to step into whatever relationship we each might choose which would be the best of all possible matches for our energies, our emotional and spiritual capacities, and our divine magnificence which is always inviting us to grow, stretch, and reach for the stars.

When Joel wanted me to stay with him last night, it was easy for me to decline: there was no soul connection between us. For me to agree to having any kind of intimate encounter, even if that meant making out for awhile and cuddling throughout the night, it would not be a match for my intentions and would be an exercise in frustration for both of us. My answer was "NO".

While there are times I might complain that I sleep alone, getting home to my own place and sleeping alone in my own bed last night felt like I was honoring myself, feeling good about snuggling into my flannel sheets, free of the empty experience of physical touch that is devoid of a spiritual and emotional connection that creates the "electricity" and "attraction" that inspires us Goddesses to say "YES" to him and to our soul connection with him.

What my longings are about are the kisses that say "I see you" and the touches that say "I hear you". When I can sense that soul connection, my body is vibrating with excitement to the invitation for full engagement, total immersion, and unrestrained passion.

What about you?

Blessings,
Sheila

SOUL MATE AT ANY AGE

"Does she want to hold hands...would that be enough for her?"

Al is a 75-year-old widower who is lonely. He just met my friend who was telling Al about her 77-year-old mother, Holly. Al just wants to hold hands, cuddle on the sofa while watching his favorite TV shows, put his arm around his Lady as they walk into a cafe for lunch.

There are times that our body parts just aren't what they used to be, but we nonetheless have a longing for soul connections, for companionship, for the touching of hands, for hugging and cuddling. There are times we long for quiet and peaceful companionship, minus the drama of youth's passions and fiery conflicts.

Henry, a 50-year-old father of four adult boys and recently divorced, has discovered that many women he is meeting online and through friends are "hot to trot" and want a wild "roll in the hay". Henry's head is spinning. He misses being married. He didn't want the divorce. He doesn't enjoy feeling the pressure to "perform" -- especially after years of his wife teasing him for being the "minuteman"...

I've been a widow for over five years and there are times that the emptiness in my bed, the empty chair next to me at a wedding party or holiday meal, the empty space in the room when I'm with friends and family is painful and palpable for me. I miss my husband's hands holding mine. I miss my husband's gentle kiss that for over 30 years gave me the silent reassurance that I was his beloved. I miss my husband's voice, his laugh, his smile as his eyes would twinkle with delight as he looked at me. Yes...I miss that soul connection. I find myself looking for that connection everywhere I go, whether it be a party or a networking event. I find myself wishing that magically some special man will appear into my life, will see me from across the room, will recognize that I am that special extraordinary woman with whom he could share the joys of life. Yes...I am longing. As I look around me, I'm looking at the body parts. But more to the point, I am looking for the soul connection.

Whether we are women or men, whether or not we are in our 30's or 70's, we all have longings for connections -- soul connections. We don't want to be sexual "objects", not really. We want to be precious to someone; we want someone to be precious for us. We want to hug and kiss with tenderness and loving delight, don't we?

There is much in the literature these days about "soul mates". Arielle Ford (www.soulmatesecret.com) has written a book and created a new career for herself, based on her own experience in finding her own "soul mate" in her 40's and also tells the story of her 80-year-old mother-in-law who found her soul mate in her 80's. Yes...we are all "looking" for that special person, that special connection, that special "spark" of recognition and sweetness we call a "soul connection".

Arielle Ford and others talks about how we can create the intention, clear the space, and actually take steps to "manifest" our own soul mate, making that special soul connection. In one of Arielle's recent newsletters, she suggests that we can help move along that intention and manifest our soul mates by taking workshops and classes that put us in the optimum mindset for attracting that special person to us.

I suggest that you go online to the following sites to explore your options for taking some summer courses designed to help you attract your love: www.mishkaproductions.com, www.eomega.org, and www.kripalu.org.

I have let go of a lover who was not the soul connection I thought was there. I saw what I wanted to see. The body parts which we shared, the passion which was ours, blinded me and fooled me into thinking that ours was a soul connection. If it was, I may take the rest of my life learning to understand it and apply those lessons to my life. In the meantime, the passionate connection of body parts taught me to be very clear about who I am, what I want, what I believe I can have, and also to know that there are times I would rather have nothing at all than to have something which is less than my heart's deepest desire.

Although I am quickly approaching my 7th decade (I'm currently 68), I do believe that the universe wants me to experience love and joy. I cannot be open to receiving my heart's deepest desire as long as I am accepting less.

Perhaps this summer I will see you at Kripalu or Omega. Perhaps this summer I will meet my love, my friend, my lover and my new life partner. I do believe that anything is possible!

With love and blessings
Sheila

DO I HAVE TO CHOOSE?

"I don't think I want to be her boy toy!"

These are the words of a man who is recently divorced, late-40's, re-entering the dating world after over 20 years of marriage, and discovering that there are women out there who just want his body, not his heart...

Wow! What a switch! This guy was thinking he'd enjoy the "chase" and have lots of fun having lots of fun... What he began to discover was that he was meeting one woman after another who was simply hungry for some good sex and not particularly interested in a "relationship".

What's with that?

When we women have been known to be hungry for a relationship, our complaints have often been that "he just wants me for sex and I want more!"

Are the tables turning?

Are women now hungry for the body parts and not the soul connection?

Are men now hungry for the soul connection and not the body parts?

Well...as you know from reading my blog posts, part of my most recent complaint with the man I thought was my lover was that he wasn't giving me his heart, just his body. I wanted his heart. As much as I was loving the sexual connection, what I discovered about myself was that having a sexual relationship without the soul connection just was not satisfying to me.

I'd love to hear from you!

What do you want and need from a partner, these days?

Are you looking for a relationship?

Or...is a relationship something that, for you, is just too much work, and you'd rather have some good sex that is not complicated by an emotional relationship?

When we have what we sense is some kind of "soul connection" with someone we also have an "attraction" for...what do we do with that? Is it our imagination? Is it wishful thinking?

At what point can you and I trust our intuitive sensitivities, and acknowledge that there either is or is not a soul connection?

When I first met "Mr. Wonderful", when he walked up to me to kiss me, there was this electric energy, this mysterious connection, which I wanted to believe was some kind of "soul connection". When his body was touching mine, when his hands were exploring my body, when I was touching him in all those places specifically reserved for intimates, I wanted -- so wanted -- to believe that this was a soul connection.

I was speaking with a client a few days ago who had a long affair with a younger man; she expressed feeling like a teenager again and that she felt this wondrous "soul connection" with this man. He has since decided to suspend the sexual contact, but still wants the "soul connection" and for that, she is sad and even angry. She wants his body parts. He wants the soul connection. She needs the physical intimacy to experience the soul connection fully. He is resisting the physical contact in order to prolong what, for him, is the "soul connection".

Strange? Confusing?

Talk to me...

Blessings
Sheila

GUEST POST: "Why I'm Bi..."

One of my good friends and colleagues, Rev. Criss Itterman, heard me announce my new blog and asked if she could contribute to it. "Of course!" was my natural response. This blog, my friends, is all about the ways that we become our Higher Self through loving and being Goddesses...truly self-expressed as we do that dance that is the substance of our lives: Body Parts and Soul Connections.


Why I'm Bi
“And my other new blog is called ‘Body Parts and Soul Connections,’ said Sheila Pearl, and the inspiration hit me.
That’s exactly it, that’s what it’s all about.
It immediately brought to mind this quote from Richard Matheson’s What Dreams May Come (the original book): “’Does a man’s existence change in any way when he removes his overcoat? Neither does it change when death removes the overcoat of his body. He’s still the same person. No wiser. No happier. No better off. Exactly the same.... Death is merely a continuation at another level.’”
Similarly, I don’t fall in love with a body. A person is not their body, as the movie version of What Dreams May Come points out. A body is a collection of chemicals and atoms, held together by laws of the universe that even science does not yet fully comprehend, but while those atoms and energies are of God, of Spirit, of Source, they are not the sum total of what makes me love a person.
I don’t love someone for the sum total of the carbon and hydrogen atoms that make them a person.
Nor do I love them for their testosterone, their estrogen, nor their adrenaline. Why would I love someone for the organs that exude chemical complexities? While I’m bisexual, I don’t love a man for their testes, nor a woman for her breasts, nor people for their adrenal glands.
I love people for their soul -- that sum total of their beliefs, their energies, their aura, their emotions, their thoughts, their intelligence. All those things that science wants to boil down to the complex interactions of chemicals on body parts, because that’s the only physical evidence that science can comprehend about the less provable portions of what makes a person a person. For me, when my love runs deeply in the tight-knit romantic partner sense, the love I feel for that person is in itself a reason, not an excuse, to delight in touch in pleasure and in mashing squishy parts together.
I am bisexual because I have a deep belief that it is the soul of my lover that matters, not what “junk” they have. I could care less what “gender” we as a culture and species assign to those parts. For other humans, perhaps the complementary pheromones matter, for some the gender roles we play in society matter, and they keep telling us that the visual stimuli or physical stimuli may matter. We each choose our attractions by whatever criteria we find suit ourselves, and please go in peace with it. I don’t bring this message to “make people bi” but to explain why I, and perhaps others, are bi. I don’t believe that souls have gender. When I have a soul connection with another person, I don’t let my body parts get in the way.
Lovingly,
Rev. Criss Itterman

Choosing Differently

I'm not sure who said it, but I've heard this wisdom in many different forms: “If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice.”

“We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life.
But we can decide what happens in us – how we can take it, what we do with it
– and that is what really county in the end.” - Joseph Fort Newton

SOOO...What is YOUR next move...today? HOW do you choose?

The great benefit of heightened awareness is that you and I have more choice in how we live our lives. At any moment, we can purposefully choose a new experience for ourselves. You and I can choose to pay attention, breathe more deeply, laugh, rest, play, appreciate, do something different. The possibilities are indeed infinite.

There is this special man I thought I had let go. Well...I did. Totally. I had made my peace with my choice. I sent him my blessings and my love. I had chosen to love myself and to seek a life partner with whom I could share love openly and freely. I had envisioned being with a man who saw me as his Queen and wanted to put my needs before his. In the "trade", it has always been my greatest pleasure and delight to love my partner unconditionally, putting his needs before mine. Now don't misunderstand: I'm not talking about accepting abuse and putting my own needs on the back burner.

No No No!!!

I'm talking about having a relationship in which there is that total trust and reciprocity in which you know that your partner has your back. Your partner knows that you have his back, also. It is the kind of trust that says, "close your eyes and fall backwards...I will be there to catch you" In this kind of reciprocity and trusting loving relationship, a true WIN-WIN is accomplished: "I give myself to you and give you what you need and want; you give yourself to me and you give me what I need and want."

It's the paradigm that is akin to that famous story of heaven and hell:

In Hell...you walk into a large dining room where there is lavish food and drink; however, everyone in the room has one arm strapped behind them and the other arm cannot bend, and can only stretch out straight in front, and although it can hold a fork or spoon, it cannot bend to feed itself. In that room, each person is acting as if no-one else is there.

In Heaven...you walk into a similar large dining room where there is lavish food and drink; everyone in the room has the same arm strapped behind them and the opposing arm cannot bend, only able to stretch out straight in front. However, in this room, the people realized that that they could feed one another. And they did.

During the past few weeks, since I had let my special man go, he has expressed a desire to make things work; he has been persistent in reaching some reconciliation. I haven't repeated my complaints. I've continued to send him the energy and intention of love, without feeling the need to rush back into the arms of this relationship. I've let him know that I do miss him. However, I do sense that something is missing. I've let him know that I am considering inviting him back into my life, and I am in the process of listening to my body (which knows everything) for my answer. I have let him know that I need time to listen.

In the meantime, he has apparently been doing some reflecting in new ways. Has has apparently been listening to me differently; likewise, I have been consulting with myself in a different way this time around.

Yesterday, he expressed himself in a different way entirely. There is a flavor and intention of commitment which has never been there in quite the same way. There is a tenderness and feeling of soul connection which is new. As I stepped away from complaints and into a free and open space of possibilities, perhaps I created a space for him to consider the situation in a different way. No longer was he being pressured by me to change. He was allowing himself to be inspired to grow and stretch.

What happens next? I have invited him back for a visit soon. We shall see...

Whenever you and I remember to take ourselves off “auto-pilot” and really examine our situation, we experience what it means to empower our choices. Once I have made a specific choice, at the end of the day, I can step back and reflect on what happened and how I felt when I chose a new line of thought, feeling, or action.

“When a defining moment comes along, you can do one of two things: define the moment, or let the moment define you.” – Tin Cup (the movie)