TOUCH MY SOUL...TAKE MY BODY!

I'M WILLING TO FEEL THE FEAR...

I'M WILLING TO LET MYSELF CRY...

I'M WILLING TO HOLD MYSELF OPEN FOR ALL POSSIBILITIES, IN THE FACE OF BEING FRUSTRATED THAT THE MAN WITH WHOM I SEEK TO SHARE LIFE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HERE IN FRONT OF MY FACE...YET

At the age of 68, I am seeking a soul mate, a life partner, a loving companion with whom to share myself and my life.

Despite not having direct evidence right in front of my face, I have a perfect faith that THIS MAN whom I seek is also seeking me, that he is not far away, and that he will find me. When he does, I have a perfect faith that our connection will be sweet and loving; that we will feel as if we have "come home" with one another. When he does, we will each want to be with one another and find a way to do so.

How do I absolutely know this? Because I just experienced the opposite. I know that when I am very clear about who I really am, about what I am really about in this lifetime, the opposite will show up to give me more clarity, more definition, and more resolve.

Last night, I had a date. His name is Joel. He is an accomplished professional, wealthy, and well-established. If I was looking for a man to give me financial stabilty, he might be someone for me to seriously consider as a contender as my partner.

There is that HOWEVER: Joel is seeking a woman who can be his companion and his lover; however, I see no evidence that he either seeks nor is capable of a deep soul connection.

The evening felt very long. When true lovers meet and there is a soul connection, there is no sense of time and whatever time lovers have together is never enough, because we always have a longing to taste one another as we bask in that "being at home" energy of connection. However, three hours with Joel felt like three weeks... I didn't experience being seen or heard, I didn't experience any glimmer of curiosity about who I am or what I do or what I am about, and I didn't experience that Joel had a clue about the magnitude of woman who was in his midst.

We women who have accessed out Goddess selves understand, without conceit or arrogance, that we are gorgeous and magnificent manifestations of divinity at its best. We get it that we possess the softness and sweetness that only Goddess Women can be, in the midst of our strength and power. We are fully aware that some very fortunate man could be the adoring recipient of our grace and passion, if only he were able to open his eyes and see us and open his heart and hear us.

In letting go of the man who had been my lover, what I was really letting go of was the limitations that the relationship imposed on both of us: he was not fully able or willing to receive all of my loving passion; therefore, I was not free to fully give or be who I am. In letting him go, I was liberating both of us to step into whatever relationship we each might choose which would be the best of all possible matches for our energies, our emotional and spiritual capacities, and our divine magnificence which is always inviting us to grow, stretch, and reach for the stars.

When Joel wanted me to stay with him last night, it was easy for me to decline: there was no soul connection between us. For me to agree to having any kind of intimate encounter, even if that meant making out for awhile and cuddling throughout the night, it would not be a match for my intentions and would be an exercise in frustration for both of us. My answer was "NO".

While there are times I might complain that I sleep alone, getting home to my own place and sleeping alone in my own bed last night felt like I was honoring myself, feeling good about snuggling into my flannel sheets, free of the empty experience of physical touch that is devoid of a spiritual and emotional connection that creates the "electricity" and "attraction" that inspires us Goddesses to say "YES" to him and to our soul connection with him.

What my longings are about are the kisses that say "I see you" and the touches that say "I hear you". When I can sense that soul connection, my body is vibrating with excitement to the invitation for full engagement, total immersion, and unrestrained passion.

What about you?

Blessings,
Sheila