I can't stand the waiting and wondering!!!
First and second dates are the most painful of all: Does he like me? Will he call me? When will I see him again? WILL I see him again?
This is where I invite the Goddess in me to join the party: If he SEES me, and connects with my essential gorgeous self, he will be back when he is ready... If he DOES NOT see me and does not recognize those gorgeous aspects of me as aspects he wants to share, it is better for us both that we know that NOW, and not drag it out for a long time. It is important that I trust that the Universe wants me to find my partner and to enjoy my life with the person who is able to see me and acknowledge me!
In the process of dating prospective dates, I've had several "first" meetings -- I wouldn't even call them "dates". These were the coffee meetings, the meeting for a glass of wine, the conversation on the phone, and the emails which provided the sorting-out process.
I have often been able to ascertain with a brief phone conversation that the energy of someone's voice was not something that I found attractive or intriguing. Often after the initial meeting for coffee or a drink, we could both sense that we were just being polite and although we may have found one another to be "a nice person", there was no connection or chemistry.
I think we can all accept these initial experiences with prospective dates as part of the inevitable little disappointments or "oh well" moments which occur as we are seeking that special someone.
However, I think I have now met that special someone. The question is: does he see the same possibilities? Does he see in me the spark that I see in him? That's the painful part of this initial discovery process.
When there is a sweet kiss, then some extended sweet kissing, then some passionate kissing that includes passionate hugging and body parts intertwined in that passionate embrace, I wonder if we both have been experiencing an intermingling of soul connections, as well.
I am breathless right now, anticipating the next step: it is in his court. I have played my hand. I will let you know how it goes...
Blessings
Sheila
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Monday, May 24, 2010
FALL IN LOVE WITH ME!
What are you looking for when you think about “falling in love”? Is is some kind of ecstasy? Is it some kind of guarantee of bliss? Is it that desire for enmeshment, of losing ourselves in someone else, in some kind of intoxication, that takes us to another realm of reality in which there is no time and no space?
When you think of falling in love, do you think of being fully awake, or somehow partially blinded by needing and wanting to see only the aspects we want to see in our beloved?
A friend of mine suggests that in order for someone to really “fall I love” with you, they have to SEE you, really see you.
Hmmm... That would imply some kind of honest and open awareness in the picture, wouldn't it. So if I wanted someone to really fall in love with me, he would have to be willing and able to truly SEE me! Not what he wanted to see, but whatever is really there!
I'm just beginning to date again. I've met some delightful men. One in particular has captured my attention. I'm imagining what it might be like to “be in love” with him... I think he might be wondering the same thing, having even admitted that he's been imagining what it would be like to be in a passionate relationship with me.
We have just barely met, and have not even yet kissed.
So...the playing field is entirely open here. While the sky is the limit right now, after the first kiss, we will know more about what steps we wish to take toward one another.
Tonight is the second date. Tonight may be the first kiss. I'm already imagining what it would be like to “fall in love” with him. According to my friend, for him to fall in love with me, he must be willing and able to see me. In order for him to see me, I must be willing and able to be totally transparent. I must be willing for him to see me as I am, not as I think I want him to see me, or afraid he might see me...
Whatever and whomever I am at this present moment, I owe it to myself to be totally “in love” with myself, to the extent that I'm thrilled and delighted for him to see all that I am, since I am already “in love” with me...and invite him to “fall in love” with the me that I am. If he doesn't, oh well... I cannot take it personally. Not everyone “clicks” with the guy or gal they think they want. But when it is a match, it just is. That, my friends, is magical.
We shall see...
Blessings,
Sheila
When you think of falling in love, do you think of being fully awake, or somehow partially blinded by needing and wanting to see only the aspects we want to see in our beloved?
A friend of mine suggests that in order for someone to really “fall I love” with you, they have to SEE you, really see you.
Hmmm... That would imply some kind of honest and open awareness in the picture, wouldn't it. So if I wanted someone to really fall in love with me, he would have to be willing and able to truly SEE me! Not what he wanted to see, but whatever is really there!
I'm just beginning to date again. I've met some delightful men. One in particular has captured my attention. I'm imagining what it might be like to “be in love” with him... I think he might be wondering the same thing, having even admitted that he's been imagining what it would be like to be in a passionate relationship with me.
We have just barely met, and have not even yet kissed.
So...the playing field is entirely open here. While the sky is the limit right now, after the first kiss, we will know more about what steps we wish to take toward one another.
Tonight is the second date. Tonight may be the first kiss. I'm already imagining what it would be like to “fall in love” with him. According to my friend, for him to fall in love with me, he must be willing and able to see me. In order for him to see me, I must be willing and able to be totally transparent. I must be willing for him to see me as I am, not as I think I want him to see me, or afraid he might see me...
Whatever and whomever I am at this present moment, I owe it to myself to be totally “in love” with myself, to the extent that I'm thrilled and delighted for him to see all that I am, since I am already “in love” with me...and invite him to “fall in love” with the me that I am. If he doesn't, oh well... I cannot take it personally. Not everyone “clicks” with the guy or gal they think they want. But when it is a match, it just is. That, my friends, is magical.
We shall see...
Blessings,
Sheila
Monday, May 10, 2010
TOUCH MY SOUL...TAKE MY BODY!
I'M WILLING TO FEEL THE FEAR...
I'M WILLING TO LET MYSELF CRY...
I'M WILLING TO HOLD MYSELF OPEN FOR ALL POSSIBILITIES, IN THE FACE OF BEING FRUSTRATED THAT THE MAN WITH WHOM I SEEK TO SHARE LIFE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HERE IN FRONT OF MY FACE...YET
At the age of 68, I am seeking a soul mate, a life partner, a loving companion with whom to share myself and my life.
Despite not having direct evidence right in front of my face, I have a perfect faith that THIS MAN whom I seek is also seeking me, that he is not far away, and that he will find me. When he does, I have a perfect faith that our connection will be sweet and loving; that we will feel as if we have "come home" with one another. When he does, we will each want to be with one another and find a way to do so.
How do I absolutely know this? Because I just experienced the opposite. I know that when I am very clear about who I really am, about what I am really about in this lifetime, the opposite will show up to give me more clarity, more definition, and more resolve.
Last night, I had a date. His name is Joel. He is an accomplished professional, wealthy, and well-established. If I was looking for a man to give me financial stabilty, he might be someone for me to seriously consider as a contender as my partner.
There is that HOWEVER: Joel is seeking a woman who can be his companion and his lover; however, I see no evidence that he either seeks nor is capable of a deep soul connection.
The evening felt very long. When true lovers meet and there is a soul connection, there is no sense of time and whatever time lovers have together is never enough, because we always have a longing to taste one another as we bask in that "being at home" energy of connection. However, three hours with Joel felt like three weeks... I didn't experience being seen or heard, I didn't experience any glimmer of curiosity about who I am or what I do or what I am about, and I didn't experience that Joel had a clue about the magnitude of woman who was in his midst.
We women who have accessed out Goddess selves understand, without conceit or arrogance, that we are gorgeous and magnificent manifestations of divinity at its best. We get it that we possess the softness and sweetness that only Goddess Women can be, in the midst of our strength and power. We are fully aware that some very fortunate man could be the adoring recipient of our grace and passion, if only he were able to open his eyes and see us and open his heart and hear us.
In letting go of the man who had been my lover, what I was really letting go of was the limitations that the relationship imposed on both of us: he was not fully able or willing to receive all of my loving passion; therefore, I was not free to fully give or be who I am. In letting him go, I was liberating both of us to step into whatever relationship we each might choose which would be the best of all possible matches for our energies, our emotional and spiritual capacities, and our divine magnificence which is always inviting us to grow, stretch, and reach for the stars.
When Joel wanted me to stay with him last night, it was easy for me to decline: there was no soul connection between us. For me to agree to having any kind of intimate encounter, even if that meant making out for awhile and cuddling throughout the night, it would not be a match for my intentions and would be an exercise in frustration for both of us. My answer was "NO".
While there are times I might complain that I sleep alone, getting home to my own place and sleeping alone in my own bed last night felt like I was honoring myself, feeling good about snuggling into my flannel sheets, free of the empty experience of physical touch that is devoid of a spiritual and emotional connection that creates the "electricity" and "attraction" that inspires us Goddesses to say "YES" to him and to our soul connection with him.
What my longings are about are the kisses that say "I see you" and the touches that say "I hear you". When I can sense that soul connection, my body is vibrating with excitement to the invitation for full engagement, total immersion, and unrestrained passion.
What about you?
Blessings,
Sheila
I'M WILLING TO LET MYSELF CRY...
I'M WILLING TO HOLD MYSELF OPEN FOR ALL POSSIBILITIES, IN THE FACE OF BEING FRUSTRATED THAT THE MAN WITH WHOM I SEEK TO SHARE LIFE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE HERE IN FRONT OF MY FACE...YET
At the age of 68, I am seeking a soul mate, a life partner, a loving companion with whom to share myself and my life.
Despite not having direct evidence right in front of my face, I have a perfect faith that THIS MAN whom I seek is also seeking me, that he is not far away, and that he will find me. When he does, I have a perfect faith that our connection will be sweet and loving; that we will feel as if we have "come home" with one another. When he does, we will each want to be with one another and find a way to do so.
How do I absolutely know this? Because I just experienced the opposite. I know that when I am very clear about who I really am, about what I am really about in this lifetime, the opposite will show up to give me more clarity, more definition, and more resolve.
Last night, I had a date. His name is Joel. He is an accomplished professional, wealthy, and well-established. If I was looking for a man to give me financial stabilty, he might be someone for me to seriously consider as a contender as my partner.
There is that HOWEVER: Joel is seeking a woman who can be his companion and his lover; however, I see no evidence that he either seeks nor is capable of a deep soul connection.
The evening felt very long. When true lovers meet and there is a soul connection, there is no sense of time and whatever time lovers have together is never enough, because we always have a longing to taste one another as we bask in that "being at home" energy of connection. However, three hours with Joel felt like three weeks... I didn't experience being seen or heard, I didn't experience any glimmer of curiosity about who I am or what I do or what I am about, and I didn't experience that Joel had a clue about the magnitude of woman who was in his midst.
We women who have accessed out Goddess selves understand, without conceit or arrogance, that we are gorgeous and magnificent manifestations of divinity at its best. We get it that we possess the softness and sweetness that only Goddess Women can be, in the midst of our strength and power. We are fully aware that some very fortunate man could be the adoring recipient of our grace and passion, if only he were able to open his eyes and see us and open his heart and hear us.
In letting go of the man who had been my lover, what I was really letting go of was the limitations that the relationship imposed on both of us: he was not fully able or willing to receive all of my loving passion; therefore, I was not free to fully give or be who I am. In letting him go, I was liberating both of us to step into whatever relationship we each might choose which would be the best of all possible matches for our energies, our emotional and spiritual capacities, and our divine magnificence which is always inviting us to grow, stretch, and reach for the stars.
When Joel wanted me to stay with him last night, it was easy for me to decline: there was no soul connection between us. For me to agree to having any kind of intimate encounter, even if that meant making out for awhile and cuddling throughout the night, it would not be a match for my intentions and would be an exercise in frustration for both of us. My answer was "NO".
While there are times I might complain that I sleep alone, getting home to my own place and sleeping alone in my own bed last night felt like I was honoring myself, feeling good about snuggling into my flannel sheets, free of the empty experience of physical touch that is devoid of a spiritual and emotional connection that creates the "electricity" and "attraction" that inspires us Goddesses to say "YES" to him and to our soul connection with him.
What my longings are about are the kisses that say "I see you" and the touches that say "I hear you". When I can sense that soul connection, my body is vibrating with excitement to the invitation for full engagement, total immersion, and unrestrained passion.
What about you?
Blessings,
Sheila
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